A lot of stuff stood out in this article I read... but this one question grabbed me by the throat:

"Do you love her enough to seek her best interests even if that means denying your wishes or telling her no?"

Food for thought.

Keepin' the prayer train on the tracks.

-KW
the imperfect person striving to survive this murky world

Two weeks...

Mutual trust is an interesting concept.

I'm ready to be normal.

"I'm Getting Sentimental Over You." - The Ink Spots

Love that song. I'm a softy for vintage 1940's crooning.

Thankfully we're not busy at work today.

I'm praying really hard about this one. It's a big decision and I'm scared to death, but it has the potential to be the best decision I ever make... or the worst.

I've gone through a lot these last few months... and I know I'm not willing to go through that kind of hurt again... But if she's serious this time (and I'm talking 150% serious... not 99.999%) and is willing to work at it, this has the potential to be something amazing and marvelous.

Keeping our priorities straight is a MUST tho.

The "L word" will make you do strange things... but logic and reason must have their say too.

So for now, I'll sit back and observe... and see what happens. No jumping the gun... no long range planning... just one day at a time. I have to see change and consistency.

Patience.

Well..

Let's see what happens.

You cried wolf too many times.
I deserve better than that.

Moving on...

Must stick...
To guns...
For my own spiritual sake.

I can breathe.

Epiphanies late at night are amusing.

We're no longer on the same page, it seems.
It appears to have turned from "love" to "lust" again.
I'm not falling into that pit again.
Tough luck.

I'll need the strength of 1000 angels and all the principalities to resist this.

And yet, strangely, I don't feel bad about what I said.
Maybe it's the exhaustion...
Or maybe, it's the "sign" I've been looking for.

You can't keep me on a string forever.
And I refuse to throw away everything I've worked so hard for the last 4 months getting myself up to par spiritually because I'm a horny little bastard.
I'm not that guy anymore.
Once again, tough luck.

If you don't want definitions... and this is turning into FWB again... then you need to find someone else because I'm not playing that game again. Too many people get hurt... including myself.

I guess that's that for now.

Four more days max of the roller coaster... Then I'm done either way.
I'm sticking to my guns this time too.
It's the only way.

It feels so close... I can taste it.

Please let her be for real.